Revealing Redesign

Pennsylvania Interior Design Studio

Decluttering

A House Divided

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When I was five years old, I was awakened early one morning and summoned to the first (and last) family meeting my parents ever had.  I stumbled down the stairs in my nightgown,  groggy and confused–I had had a fitful night’s sleep, sensing that something was coming undone, something was changing in the house where I lived.  I was told that a decision had been made, and life was about to change in a very big way….
Divorce is a painful, sometimes ugly, always disorienting life event for all those involved. Some relationships are severed, others altered, belongings separated, addresses changed. Now as adult, I can offer that little girl understanding, support and the knowledge that things that are broken can heal…and end up better than they were in the first place.

However, the transition (please excuse my language) can be a bitch.

If you find yourself in the midst of just such a transition, you deserve to have a place where you feel at home, a place that is restful, a place that helps you picture and create the life you want going forward–and that place should be wherever you are living right now. This can be especially hard to envision if you aren’t the one who wanted the change in the first place and your home now has one less inhabitant whose absence is deeply felt, or if you find yourself evicted from a home you never thought you would ever leave. Much like a caterpillar needs the safety of his or her cocoon to transform into a colorful, graceful butterfly, you are going to need a protected, comfortable place for yourself while in this vulnerable state, so that you too can unfold beautifully and prepare yourself to fly. Here are some ideas to help move you forward in a positive way and create just such a space:

1. Create A Vision of What You Want Things To Look Like –How can you arrive at a destination when you don’t know where it is?  It is important to create a vision of where you want to end up–picture what you want your life to look like going forward now that this change has happened. This is a process that I call “drawing your map,” and doing things such as collecting pictures that inspire you and writing down two or three words that capture the feelings that you want to create in a space are key steps to take. This “map” is going to be a very important tool in creating a nurturing, supportive home that supports and facilitates your vision for you and those you love.

2. Be Patient With Yourself– You aren’t yourself.  Things are going to be confusing, decisions hard to arrive at. The place you are living is in a state of flux. Progress with things may be slow at times, but any progress is good. Give yourself a loving dose of care and understanding daily and keep moving forward.

3. Life Transitions Always Create Clutter–Whenever we go through a change in our lives, there are things that we don’t need or want anymore, and things that will simply be in our way. Whether you are anxiously looking forward to wiping the slate clean, or you dread having to sort through boxes and closets, this  STUFF has memories and emotions attached to it that can stick to us, just like the dust that settles on our clothes as we are cleaning out, and make us feel weighed down. These heavy emotions can make us want to avoid dealing with the clutter all together, but it is a very worthwhile undertaking that will make you feel lighter when you are done. Refer to tips #1 & #2 to first see if items fit your vision for your new life (if not, drop it like a bad habit), and then to remind yourself to be patient & kind to you during this process–this is hard work.

4. Revisit Special Places from Your Past:  In Winifred Gallagher’s book House Thinking, she writes of research connecting the recognition of meaningful places in a person’s past, and the ability to then create a “just-right home” that provides a “deep, gut-level feeling of identification and comfort.”  What could be a better description of what is needed right now?? So, what are the rooms, homes and gardens of your past–environments in which you felt truly yourself, truly alive? These are spaces that Gallagher refers to as your “best places.” Take some time to reflect, and you may find some clues to help you create a very meaningful, special, and comfortable place in which to live and thrive today and in the future.

A house divided cannot stand, which is why  I encourage you to create your own whole, complete, and nurturing home that stands on its own. This shelter contains the foundation for your new life within its walls.

Beautiful butterfly photo via

Adding On Vs. Adding More (Yes, Your House Is Probably Big Enough)

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Do you lay awake at night dreaming of the large addition you want to put on the back of your house? Maybe you picture how grand and easy life will be, with sunshine streaming through new large windows, washing over the miles of new counter space in the renovated kitchen, acres of new closet space, and cavernous rooms that are large and impressive for family gatherings and holiday parties…..

However, there is the flip side to that  fantasy–there are the inherent costs such a space would, ahem, add on –since any new space starts, of course, with the building of foundation, walls, and roof…and tens of thousands of dollars. And there is the additional cost of heating, cooling, and maintaining added space  for years to come.  In my experience, there are a lot of reasons NOT to add on, the most prevalent one being that it is, in most cases, simply not needed.  If you feel that your house is lackluster and in need of more space, I challenge you to first make the most of the house you have so you can honestly say that more space is what is needed.  A lot of times we have rooms in our houses that are seldom used, and other rooms that are completely underwhelming in function & design. Without examining our feelings any further, we respond to our discomfort and dissatisfaction by thinking we need more space.  Creativity, good design, and the principles of living simply can make a “small” house live very large….SO, before  you pay a builder a hefty deposit, we should examine how you currently live in your house and make sure that each space works as hard as it can for you and makes you swoon with its abundance of charm, beauty, and functionality.

 

Read the following statements and see if they are accurate truths about you and your house currently:

  • I (or someone in my family) uses each room in our house at least once a week.
  • I feel proud of the rooms I have and feel good when I spend time in them.
  • The rooms in my house relate well to one another, and there is a sense of flow throughout.
  • I think my house is beautiful and reflects who I am and how I would like to live my life.
  • Accomplishing tasks in my house is easy, since the spaces are well organized and well designed.

 

If you feel that all of the above statements are true of your house, and you are still ready to build on, then I would say it is the right choice. However, if you can’t say they apply to your situation, then I urge you to rethink things. It is easy to believe the lie that bigger is always better. Much like fine dining can be a wonderful, memorable experience compared to a button-popping, forgettable all-you-can-eat buffet, having a smaller amount of house that delights you with its attention to detail and fine materials can be so much more satisfying that a lot of house that bores you and costs you a lot of cash. Invest the money you were considering using for the addition to thoughtfully and intentionally improve your existing house, and you will have something of beauty, value and quality when you are finished.

 

Feeling cramped and uncomfortable in our current house often has little to do with the amount of space that is there, but rather how well the space is designed and appointed. Remember, you can only be in one room at a time–make the rooms you are in beautiful and satisfying to you, and your life will be the better for it.

There’s A New Sheriff In Town

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Getting rid of clutter is harder for some than others…but not to worry. I am always there to gently nudge, kindly persuade…
Even still, there can be resistance…

This isn’t the motivational technique I usually use, I SWEAR…but , darn it! Now there are pictures to be used as evidence!

…made even worse when your husband gets a hold of the pictures, and has a little time on his hands at work…

(honey, couldn’t you at least photoshop in a badge?!?? Or a ten gallon hat?? I mean, c’mon…)

Well, we here at The Rattlesnake Saloon hope you are kicking The Clutter Outlaws to the curb…and having a laugh while you do it!

(disclamer: I promise no hoarders were injured in the making of this ezine. Thank you to my assistant Jo Ann for making the find of an old 22 even more fun while we were decluttering…)

You Can Do This In 15 Minutes!!

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What is the thing in your house that is most bugging you right now?
 

A cluttered desk?

A kitchen drawer that is so jammed full of stuff that it is hard to open, and even harder to close?

Piles of clothes that haven’t made it from the laundry basket to the drawer?

OR how about a refrigerator that contains sour milk & left-overs from The First Thanksgiving shoved to the back….?

It is easy when faced with these annoyances, to throw up our hands and feel powerless. We get disgusted with ourselves, question how we let it get so bad in the first place,  tell ourselves we don’t have the time or energy to deal with it, and subsequently make the situation much more difficult by picturing it as a big hill to climb, a huge problem to conquer.

But it isn’t….

YOUR WEEKEND HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT:

  1. Recognize, without judgement, that something is out of whack in whatever room you choose. Make it something that has been getting under your skin for a while…
  2. Set a timer. Just 15 minutes.
  3. Become the picture of calm determination.
  4. Straighten, toss, put away until the timer tells you to stop.
Victory! Feel the power! YOU GO!  Employing the Do It Now Principle, you have just made it better…not perfect….but oh so much better. 
Perfect us is so overrated anyways…and it was what was keeping you from dealing with the problem at all in the first place.
I’m off now….I’ve got to go set my timer.

Help Sorting It All Out

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Yes, this is me. No, I hadn’t been drinking. My nose is red from the cold, damp air in the garage I was working in late last week. Just had to share the picture, since I find it funny what you come across while decluttering….like yellowed snippets of newspaper listing old television channels–something very vital to someone not so long ago. I have to admit I did pause before I threw it away because of the clear instructions not to do so scrawled across the top.

(My daughter walked into the room and gasped when she saw me posting that picture. “Mom! That is a horrible picture of you!….Well, I guess it is okay. You are supposed to look super tired when you are working.”….Thanks, Honey.)

The family that I was working for has gone through a lot of transition….and where there is transition, there is clutter. In the past two years, this family has lost an elderly parent, and sent their last child off to college.  I was so honored that they called me to help with all the of things that were pushed aside & piled in piles in the wake of that wave of change. The tide had settled just a bit, and all of the extra STUFF was weighing on them in a big way.

It is hard to decide what to do with some of the items that you come across in these situations (for instance, the full container of cellophane obviously from the 1950’s with its cool packaging) and that is why it is a good practice to have a decluttering buddy with you as you sort things out (and an additional furry one is extra helpful). A person who is outside of your situation, either a professional organizer or close friend unafraid to be honest with you, can help you remove the emotion from the items you are sorting, and allow you see them objectively. The percentage of things you will end up keeping will be greatly reduced, and the things that do stay will have purpose and meaning to you.

And that means that they are NOT clutter! HOORAY!

 

 

What Do You Wish You Had The Time To Do? (I Bet It Isn’t Managing Your STUFF…..)

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Can you picture it?? I have arrived this morning at your house for our first appointment. This is The Big Day. You called me a few weeks ago, the resolve audible in your voice…
The time has come, you say, once and for all, to finally organize your house.

 

Oh dear. I can’t wait to get there and get started, but  when you open the door to greet me, I know what I will see…

 

Your eyes are wide and starry, your gestures animated, and I bet if I could peer inside your head, I would see dreamy images like these:

or these….

Interesting how you envision the outcome…

I am also all too familiar with the disillusionment that sets in just after we roll up our sleeves and get to work.

 

You look at me, confused. I am guessing that your inner dialog goes something like this:

Why are we spending so much time going through things and getting rid of stuff? This is hard work, emotional, and I hate making all of these decisions. 

I thought you would be setting up a sophisticated system, so I could put everything in a perfect container, and would know where everything was…and it would look cool…and the house would be stylish and stuff…

I mean, like when do we get to go buy the pretty color-coordinated boxes that I will store everything in?? I thought that we would be spending more time doing that. Not THIS…I mean I can throw things out on my own…

 

You have fallen into the trap that all of us do from time to time. You have made the mistake of thinking that your frustrations with your home result from the lack of a proper organizational system…JUST GOTTA GET ME ONE OF THOSE.

Nope.

The truth is that your frustration stems from trying to manage and organize too many things, things that don’t ultimately matter anyway…and it is a battle that you can’t win. Well, unless you want to spend most of your spare time maintaining, straightening, and organizing, OR you have a butler and a staff of twenty to help you run the place…

Neither of those scenarios seem likely to me, so let’s talk about how to lessen your frustration and increase your time for fun:

  • Focus on what matters to you. I have yet to meet a person who wishes that they just had more time to spend with their kitchen pantry or their basement shelves. I know there are things you are longing to do with your most precious resource, your time. We are about to find you more time–read on.
  • More Stuff=Less Time: You have too much stuff–we all do in varying degress. It is all that stuff that is clogging up the works of your life. Get rid of the clutter, have less to fuss with, find more time.
  • “I just need a better system”—BUT WAIT, you say, that STUFF is important! I just want to store it in a better way! When you look at the stuff as a whole, it may feel important, but when you look at it carefully, individually, there is a whole mess of things that you don’t love, don’t  use, and don’t need. Simply taking all of that excess STUFF and putting in attractive containers is like putting a fresh coat of paint on a house with a failing foundation. It is unsound and off-balance, it won’t feel satisfying, and your results WON’T LAST.
  • “ONCE AND FOR ALL!”~ You said it, but you can’t mean it: Life and its sticky little problems are never “once and done,” and creating a satisfying and comfortable home is not the exception to this rule. This process is about  putting systems in place that will need MAINTENANCE. The more complex and impressive your system for filing paperwork, the more onerous it will be to keep up. The more remnants of fabric you hold on to, the more effort it will take to keep them clean and accessible so they actually get used someday. SO, whatever you are going to store (I hope it isn’t much), make sure it is done simply and that it is worth the time and energy it will cost you to do so.

I want you to note that I didn’t use pictures of my own closets, my very own basement storage area, or my kitchen junk drawer (yes, I have one)  in this post. While they are in functional, workable form with little clutter, they aren’t much to look at, and that is just how I like them. I don’t feel the need to have  my closets and other storage areas camera ready, and I hope you don’t either. Sure, all of those perfectly folded clothes and stacked toiletries are pretty, but I would rather spend my time doing things I enjoy with those I love …wouldn’t you?

Arriving Home

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Each week I write about all kinds of things that have been rattling around in my head as I work with clients, from clutter to contractors to kitchen colors.

But no matter the topic, what I am always trying to say is this:

You deserve to live in a place that is beautiful to you, a space that speaks to your soul and makes you feel at home.

When you have such a place to go to at the end of the day– a place that helps you relax and restore–you have more to give to the people you love, and more to give to the world at large.

This important place (your home) is created one little step at a time (not overnight), it is created through keeping things simple (not by being fussy and spending a lot of money), and it is created by being honest with yourself about what things really make you feel good and therefore have a place in your space.

My challenge to you: find 5 things in your home that you love and make you feel good, and 5 things that you know drag you down. Make sure the lovely things are somewhere prominent–where you can enjoy them. The other 5 things need to go — their welcome is officially worn out.

The quaint & beautiful cottage paintings seen above can be found here and here.

Uncomfortable Where You Are, Unsure of Where To Go

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Oftentimes, a new client will contact me because they know that their room or house in its current state is uncomfortable to them, and they are ready to make a change. What they are unsure of is the direction in which to go~Which path will get them to their destination? Which routes are too costly? They can even wonder what is the desirable destination, anyway??

So begins the process of finding our way! There are a number of things that help us on our journey. The questions below help to leave breadcrumbs, distinguish landmarks, and chart the course so that we can arrive at a space that is functional, beautiful, and just right for the people who will be using it. It is essentially drawing a map that we will use to ensure safe passage…

1. How do you want the room to feel when it is finished? It is important to be specific when answering this question, because a clear answer will help you to determine things that fit that feeling for you, versus those that DON’T.  For instance, a room in which you want to feel “carefree, and completely relaxed,” should not contain a white sofa that has loose scatterback pillows always in need of straightening, and a coffee table on which you can’t set down a drink without a coaster. Just sayin’….

2. What is the purpose of the room? What function does it provide for those who use it? Does this sound like a silly question to you? You would be amazed how often there are things in a room that have NOTHING to do with helping that room meet its purpose and support you. These things are there sometimes by default, they are taking up valuable space, and are just in your way. Answer that question with clarity, and move the clutter out.

3. What is appealing to you? Pages out of magazines that you are drawn to, rooms from favorite places in your past (like we talked about last week), types of fabrics, favorite colors, the list can go on and on. When you answer this question, go back to #1, and see which of these favorites evoke the feeling you want for the space. If it fits the feeling, then you can go on to see how you want to add that element to the room.

Vintage map image courtesy of BananaStrudel.