These were three of the four fortunes my family received at dinner the other evening. Hmmmmm.
I knew I wanted to write about this pointed message from the fortune cookie gods (ha ha), but ironically I had a tough time deciding what I wanted to say. I know, I know. Too funny.
I recently watched one of my kids wrestle with a gut-wrenching decision, desperately wanting to pick a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’–but the choice just wasn’t clear…and still isn’t. Ultimately, it seems this decision is one that doesn’t need to be decided upon yet.
In contrast, a few years ago, I had clients ask me if I could help them make major, involved changes to a house they were just purchasing and had never lived in before. Their goal was to have everything renovated, painted, placed and perfect the day they moved in. No decision left unturned. No messy in-between time. No waiting. Just go for it. Get ‘er done.
So–what is the right decision in terms of making the right decision? What style are you? Wait and see? Forge ahead?
I have to say that in terms of my offspring, I am proud that they are moving forward, although the question/decision is still lingering. While it would be easier to know for sure one way or the other, they know that they have to keep engaging with themselves and their world until things become more clear. Pretty cool. Pretty brave.
With my clients who wanted to go forward guns blazing, headlong into a huge renovation, I felt it was best to politely decline the opportunity to work with them–something that surprised even me.
While this sort of soup-to-nuts re-do makes for great entertainment (I, too, love those shows with the overnight transformations on HGTV), and major renovations are something I live for in my work, in this specific case I felt my clients were rushing into renovations that may or may not have made sense for them over time–especially since their family was going through many earth-shattering changes already. I felt they were trying to side-step the very important process of getting to know their house and how they really would live in it, and as a result most likely sabotaging the results we would have created.
We all want to do that little side-step move when working on our house, or making other big shifts in our lives. It is a way to try and outrun the discomfort of being in limbo, being in the process of making decisions, which can be very uncomfortable. That place where we aren’t quite at ease is just where we need to be sometimes if we want to create meaningful change. Being “done” with our houses is a seductive idea, but ultimately what we truly want is a place to live that supports and nurtures the life we want to lead. That doesn’t happen overnight. That doesn’t happen by just wanting it to be done.
Finishing a house is a very different thing from just getting it done. If you engage in this process, it is involved, but when the time is right, you will know what to do. And the results will show it.
Working with clients on their houses is such a joy to me. I love helping to make the many required decisions easier, helping my clients to see the choices clearly that will get them the result they long for, helping them to finish each space in a meaningful way. Rather than just imposing my ideas onto a space, for me it is most important that I enter into a conversation with you and your house, and then help you to create a home that is finished, peaceful, beautiful, and truly yours.
p.s. Seems like a lot of people have had decision making on their minds lately. One of my favorite writers, Martha Beck, has put up a great piece this week on making the right decision. You can find it here. I highly recommend it! 🙂
